Jack and
The Beanstalk
as retold by John Hedges
The Truffler Journal Thursday, June 3, 2021
Beanstalk Crashes Near Trifle One Man Dead
by Veracity Scriber
Last evening near the rural town of Trifle what appears to be a huge beanstalk fell to the ground causing death to a very large man whom the authorities have yet to identify. Authorities have not yet identified the plant but say that it has caused substantial damage to buildings and crops. The plant was growing near Mrs. Cosset Spriggins home and appears to have been cut down with an axe. The police had no comment on how the plant came down, but said the matter was under investigation.
This reporter tried to contact the Spriggins but there was no answer, and the blinds were pulled at the home. Okolo Nachbar who lives a half a mile or so away said that the home is occupied by Mrs. Cosset Spriggins, a widow, and her teenage son Jack. “The widow and her son are having a hard time. Jack had been asked not to come back to school and is trying to find work. No one wants to hire him. They sold milk and butter from their one cow to help make ends meet.”
“Jack had stopped by and said he was looking for work because the cow had stopped producing. He had come by to see if I would buy the cow or help him take the cow to the local sale on a Saturday.”
Nachbar didn’t want the cow but helped Jack get the cow to market since he was going already. Jack told him that he got beans for Milky White. He assumed he meant that he didn’t get much so could not pay Nachbar back some of the money that his mother had borrowed.
Nachbar began to wonder what Jack really meant when he saw what looked like an enormous bean plant growing next to the Spriggins’ house. Recently Jack had come over and given Nachbar an antique gold coin to pay him back the money that Jack’s mother had borrowed. Nachbar found that strange and wondered where Jack had gotten the gold. Jack said he got it from a giant.
The Truffler Journal Friday, June 4, 2021
Dead Man Giant Not Yet Identified
by Veracity Scriber
The man found dead under the beanstalk yesterday near Trifle has not yet been identified according to the police spokesman. Police are asking for anyone who might know of his identity to contact them. The man is described as nine feet tall, muscular, and with long unkempt black hair and beard. He was wearing a green pullover shirt, dark brown tights, and tall black boots. He had a knife attached to a black leather belt. He had no identification on his body.
The Police collected fingerprints and DNA from the dead man and sent them to the lab to identify. Leaves and tissues from the beanstalk have been collected and sent to the university to see if it can be identified.
The Truffler Journal Saturday, June 5, 2021
Giant Has Unusual DNA
by Veracity Scriber
The police today announced that the dead giant found near Trifle has unusual DNA. It seems he had a large amount of Neanderthal and some Denisovan DNA. As near as the experts can determine the placement of the modern DNA it is Slavic or Turkic.
No record was found of his fingerprints. The authorities refuse to speculate as to the origin of the giant. Photos of the giant have been circulated with no identification yet. The neighbors interviewed had never seen or heard of a giant in the neighborhood.
The beanstalk tissues have been examined. The university experts indicated that the plant was similar to the Scarlet Runner Beans (Phaseolus coccineus) which grow to a height of 15 ft or so. Like this plant runner beans uniquely twine around their supports in a clockwise direction. This however may be a new species.
Tam Knowing who lives in Trifle claims that he bought some very cheap bean seeds from a peddler at the local market a couple of years ago that produced a very tall beanstalk, maybe 30 ft. tall. It looked similar to the one Spriggins cut down but certainly did not grow as tall or as fast. They produced only a couple of spikey and tough green beans, so he cut them down and fed them to his pigs.
Mrs. Cosset Spriggins and Jack have refused to talk to reporters.
The Truffler Journal Thursday, June 10, 2021
New Developments in the Death of the Giant
by Veracity Scriber
An informant in the medical examiner’s office, who will remain anonymous in accord with the Truffler Journal’s policies, revealed that the injuries to the giant found dead near Trifle last week are consistent with the giant having been on the beanstalk or under it when it was chopped down. Police made no comment and indicated that they have not been able to identify the giant.
Another anonymous informant told this reporter that the police and the county prosecutor’s office are reviewing bringing involuntary manslaughter charges against Jack Spriggins.
This reporter attempted to interview Mrs. Cosset Spriggins and Jack again last evening. Harp music was heard coming from inside the house. The music stopped when the reporter knocked on the door. No one answered. All the windows were covered. The reporter noticed that there was a new chicken pen in the yard with a fat hen in it. The pen had been pieced together from boards, sticks, and other junk that had been laying around the yard.
The Truffler Journal Monday, June 14, 2021
Jack Spriggins Arrested
by Veracity Scriber
The police arrested Jack Spriggins Sunday evening at his home. He is being held in the Trifle Jail on charges of involuntary manslaughter. The charges say that Jack carelessly chopped down the beanstalk when he should have known or that there was someone in the tree or just below it.
Jack and his mother have refused to speak to the press.
This reporter was contacted by a merchant at the market in Trifle. He reported that Jack Spriggins had attempted to trade a gold coin for chicken food, a new dress for his mother and a new jacket for himself. The coin had a bull and a lion on it. It had no numbers or lettering. The coin looked old. Jack told the merchant that he was now rich and had lots of coins. The merchant refused to take the coin as she feared it was stolen or at least was protected by antiquities laws and should be reported to the authorities. The merchant reported that Jack had a bundle of things when she saw him at the market. She had known Jack for a long time and Jack was very poor and could afford to buy nothing.
This reporter contacted other merchants and they said that Jack was buying a lot of stuff with antique gold coins. One of them said that he had reported this to the police after he heard that Jack was arrested because he believed that the coins were stolen.
The Truffler Journal Tuesday, June 15, 2021
Police Find Bag of Antique Gold Coins and Golden Harp at Spriggins Home
by Veracity Scriber
The police served a search warrant on Mrs. Cosset Spriggins and searched her house. They found a large bag of gold coins and a golden harp.
Mrs. Spriggins told the police that Jack had been working and had brought the items home from work. She said that Jack first brought home the hen that was in the chicken pen outside. The next night he brought home the bag. It was late and she did not ask about it.
The day that he cut down the beanstalk he brought home the harp. “It played really pretty music.”
The police seized the bag of gold coins and the golden harp for further investigation.
The Truffler Journal Wednesday, June 16, 2021
Jack Spriggins Appears in Court and Says Not Guilty
by Veracity Scriber
Jack Spriggins was arraigned in the Truffler County Court yesterday on the charges of involuntary manslaughter. The charges were read. The judge asked Spriggins how he wished to plead. The audience was shocked when Spriggins began shouting. “I am not guilty! The giant was tryin’ to kill me! I was defendin’ myself. He would have killed me.“
The judge tried to quiet him, but he kept raving about the beanstalk, castles in the clouds, magic beans, and fairies. The judge finally had Spriggins removed from the courtroom and referred him for psychiatric evaluation.
There is still no identification of the giant.
Psychiatric Evaluation Transcript
Dr: Hello Jack, I am Dr. Sigmund. Do you know why we are here today?
Jack: Yes, they think I am crazy. I am not. It was self-defense. I was defendin’ myself from a crazy giant who eats people, especially Englishmen for breakfast. He was going to crush my bones and spread them on his toast. The judge wouldn’t listen.
Dr: Ok we will get to that later. I have been assigned by the court to evaluate your capability to stand trial for manslaughter.
Jack: But I didn’t do no manslaughter. They should let me go it was self-defense. I have to get back to my mum.
Dr: We will get to that later. Right now, let’s talk about you and how things have been going in your life. OK?
Jack: OK.
Dr: Can you tell me about your family? Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jack: No. I don’t have any. Just Mum and me.
Dr: And your father?
Jack: I don’t know nothin’ about him just me and Mum. Mum never said nothin’ about him. I have asked but she don’t say nothin’. We have been livin’ here since I can remember. I looked through the junk we have and there is no trace that I ever had a father. Just Mum. I asked the neighbors and at school. Nobody knows nothin’ about my father. The kids always teased me about not havin’ a father and called Mum and me bad names.
Nobody hire her or me. Just have what we can scrounge. Even had to sell our cow, but I got a great deal for her.
Dr: How do you get along with your mother?
Jack: She’s OK but always naggin’ me to help her, to get a job, or complainin’ about me. I can’t seem to do nothin’ right.
Dr: Does she hit you or punish you?
Jack: Nah, except for when I sold the cow for beans. I am lucky she never beat me like the other kids’ mums do them and she is always huggin’ me.
Dr: Do you go to school?
Jack: No they told me not to come back.
Dr: Why was that?
Jack: They say I cause too much trouble. They say I lie and take stuff that don’t belong to me. They say I am mean to other kids.
Dr: Do you, and are you?
Jack: No kids always pickin’ on me cause I am poor and don’t have no father. They say I steal their stuff. I never do. Sometime I find stuff layin’ around and use it cause I don’t have stuff, but I don’t steal. Sometimes people put stuff in my desk or bag and then claim I stole it. I don’t. People always tryin to cheat me. I gotta stand up for myself nobody else will. Sometimes they make me fight and claim that’s bullyin’.
Dr: Do you have any plans now that you are not in school?
Jack: Yah geta job.
Dr: This all seems to have started with the deal you got for the cow. Can you tell me about that?
Jack: Mum told me to take Milky White, that’s the cow’s name we call her that because she is white and gives milk the same color, to market and sell her because she stopped givin milk.
I took Milky White and got a really great deal for her, five magic beans.
Dr: Can you tell me about that?
Jack: Yah. I asked Neighbor Nachbar if he would help me take Milky to the market. He said he was goin’ and would help me get her there. We got there and Neighbor Nachbar found a place for me to stand with Milky. Then he went to do his business.
This old guy come along and say he lookin’ for a cow. He say he don’t have much money but could trade me some magic beans. He say if I plant them close together in a circle they’ll grow to the sky and give me and Mum many beans that we could eat and sell for lots of money. He say they bring other good stuff and really pay off too.
I was so excited. At last, I could help Mum. We could have enough to eat and we could get some stuff we been needen’.
Dr: How did your mother react?
Jack: She threw the beans out the window an started cryin’, an yellin’, an hitten’ me with her stirrin’ stick. She yelled I was worthless and broke her stick on my back. Then started beatin’ me with a strap. Then she wouldn’t feed me nothin’, said “Get out of my sight”, and made me go to bed.
Dr: Had she ever hit you before?
Jack: No, never.
Dr: How was 5 magic beans a good deal for the cow and how did they pay off.
Jack: I got a big bag of gold, a golden harp, and a chicken from a giant.
Dr: Did the giant give them to you?
Jack: Nah I took them. They belonged to me.
Dr: How did they belong to you?
Jack: I met a fairy she said that my father was a very rich and a kind man. The giant killed my dad and stole his riches includin’ the gold, the harp, and the hen.
Dr: Thank you for spending time and talking with me today.
Jack: What are you gonna tell em?
Dr: I will need to review my notes and determine what I will say.
Evaluation Report for the Court
submitted by Dr. Sigmund
My diagnosis is that Jack Spriggins is suffering from Trauma Related Dissociation. The trauma resulted from the beating by his mother after years of criticism and deprivation. The shock of the beating by his overprotective mother which he did not expect and could not stop after believing that he had gotten a great deal from the sale of the cow, a deal that could save him and his mother from starvation, caused dissociation.
I do not believe that Jack is capable of knowing the difference between right and wrong.
Court Hearing.
Summary of evidence that Jack presented:
I came home from sellin’ Milky White for magic beans. Mum threw them out the window, beat me, made me go to bed without supper. In the morning I saw a giant bean stalk outside my window and climbed it. At the top of the beanstalk was a cobblestone street. I walked along it.
I meet a fairy who to my surprise called me Jack. I asked how she knowed my name. She said she was my father’s guardian fairy. She had her powers suspended but she knew my father. She said that my father was a very rich and kind man. The giant killed my father and stole his riches including the gold, the harp, and the hen. She said that I was the person appointed to avenge my father and to punish the giant for his wickedness. She warned, “If you do not punish him, you and your mother will always be hungry and miserable. As to the Giant’s possessions, you may seize all with impunity, for everything he has is yours. He has unjustly deprived you of it.” I asked what impunity meant. She said that it meant I would not be punished for taking them.
I went to the Giant’s castle. He smelled me and said,
“Fee-fi-fo-fum.
I smell the blood of an Englishmun,
Be alive, or be dead
I’ll have his bones to grind my bread.”
I was afraid of the giant. His wife hid me from him. I did not want to kill him, but I took the hen, the gold, and the harp to punish him as the fairy said. I was comin’ down the beanstalk with the harp when the harp called out to the giant for help. The giant came after me bellowin’ that he was going to kill me. I was scared for my life. I was scarcely able to keep ahead of him. When I got to the bottom I grabbed and axe and chopped down the beanstalk. The giant was in the beanstalk. He died. You can see that it was self-defense.
The Truffler Journal Friday, May 13, 2021
Jack Spriggins Found Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity
by Veracity Scriber
The jury found Jack Spriggins guilty of involuntary manslaughter, but not guilty by reason of insanity because at the time of the homicide he did not know the difference between right and wrong. Jack did not know it was wrong to take the hen, gold, and the harp. Jack did not know it was wrong to endanger the life of the giant by chopping down the beanstalk.
Spriggins was released to the custody of his mother pending further psychological evaluation and disposition. The coins and golden harp were turned over to the historical museum for evaluation and to be held in trust for giant’s next of kin if any are found in the next 10 years. After that they can be added to the museum’s collections. Mrs. Spriggins was allowed to keep the hen because the hen had negligible value.
The identity of the giant has still not been established.
Epilogue
After a time, Jack was determined to be sane. Jack and Mrs. Spriggins left Trifle for Cosmic City. There Jack and his mum lived happily ever after. After all the hen laid golden eggs.
